Total Raised: $4430.30!!!!!!!!!
By Sarah. Filed in Marathon Training Posts |
I FINALLY had the strength/motivation to organize the donations. I started organizing in the beginning but then they just came pouring in and I was so exhausted from running that I stopped tallying. Well, I tallied today and the total is $4430.30! I can’t even believe it! I hoped my goal of $3,000 was conservative but I never expected over $4,000! I am going to Rockville General tomorrow morning to drop off the check and I just can’t wait. I’m actually a little sad, because it marks the final step of this journey and I’m not really ready for it to end. I’ve been pushing it out of my mind and telling myself ‘well there is still the check drop off’ to drag out the end, and now it’s here! Bummer. I hopefully will keep running and will probably even keep writing as it is a healthy way for me to think about and express my feelings about my mom. I haven’t had an outlet like this before and it has helped so much. The crazy crying spells are now few and far between and when I think about her I don’t instantly tear or get that pit in my stomach. I am still sad and don’t think that will ever change, but I’m also a little more settled. I’m happy. I used to think that I’d never be able to be truly happy again because no matter what good things came into my life, I still would be without my mom. How could I possibly be happy when my mom passed away? My mindset around this has definitely changed and instead I now feel like I am happy and there is a part of me that will always be a little sad. Although that might not sound like a huge difference, it is a completely different perspective. I know, and have known, that my mom would want me to be happy and have an amazing life, but I felt like I couldn’t let that happen because of the pain. I now feel like the pain has moved and isn’t so consuming.
Because this experience was so life-changing, I’m scared I’m going to go backwards if I stop. I actually ran yesterday for the first time since the marathon. I only ran 4 miles and I went pretty slow. I ran on a treadmill because it was freezing rain (which was terrible- running outside is a completely different sport), but it felt really good to run. I even thought, wow I feel like a runner. My right leg was pretty tired out by mile 4 so I took today off (may do some Yoga later tonight), but it also made me feel like I will keep this up, and it won’t be over. I’m doing a 5K with Jenny and Beth in December and a crazy relay run where we get to wear headlamps so I’ll have something to write about and look forward to! I will post tomorrow after I meet with the hospital, wish me luck!
